Better Days

I see everyone around me have their partner. Life partner, love partner. The fats, the nerds, the whores, the evils, the outsiders, the bullies, even the badasses, they seem happy with their partner. Even with dark side, they have one person to love who loves them back. Is that their luck? Or because they've done something right in their life? Or they know how to love and to be loved? Or just their fate to be lucky in love? And here's me. Alone. Unloved. Call me fat, nerd, outsider, and prick. I'm alone. I'm unloved. I have no partner to live with, to spend the days, to share the happinesses. I'm lost. I miss home. Even I don't really know how it feels to be home and be with my partner. But I want home. Like everyone said, home, where I can love and be loved. Where is my home? I'm lost. What's my problem? Too much dark sides? Did something bad? Went in the wrong path? Or just unlucky? Or this is my fate, to be with only my self? In my religion,...

You are lucky. I am happy. And broken. While all I could do was only sitting and gazing at him. But you were braver. You made him smile. You took him to beautiful places. You waken him. And me, still doing the same old things, sitting, and gazing. Gazing at him, with his gorgeous smile and sweet eyes. He is laughing with you, staring at you. Young lady, you really have to take a good care of him. Love him more, love him big. Never disappoint him, or make him sad. He is such a keeper. You are lucky having him as your partner who lays arm around you. I am lucky seeing his happy smiles everyday. Even it isn't for me.

Alone, lonely, feel empty and blue everyday. Have nobody to talk to, no friends to laugh hard and be crazy together. I've been there. The lowest point of my life. But I didn't admit the loneliness. I mean, I felt the loneliness, but I was too cocky to admit it. That was my fault anyway, for being a jerk to everyone. It was like I pushed away everyone around me. Until now, I never understand why some people still stay around me. I wonder, what would you get from me? I am nothing but a prick. I'm tense and can't be fun. I never make jokes, and I sometimes make that unpleasant emotion in my face. But however, they stay. They raise my point of life. They stay around me, and care about me. They don't forget me, while I'm trying to get rid of them. It's like I never did something bad to them. Thanks, God, for your kindness, that you keep me alive by give me a life surrounded with this lovely human.